Thursday, May 17, 2007
Late Night jokes
Conan
Sen. Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by porn star Jenna Jameson. Jameson’s exact quote was, "I’m endorsing Hillary so tell Bill Clinton to stop bothering me.”
In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "There are a lot of things about Hillary that voters may not know.” Then he said, "For instance, she has a smoking-hot assistant.”
In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "Of all the candidates, Hillary has the best combination of mind and heart. Unfortunately, those are the only two parts of the female body that don’t turn me on.”
Leno
Former President Bill Clinton did a video for his wife Hillary’s presidential campaign, although Hillary’s a little upset about it. It turns out Bill did the video with Paris Hilton.
Mitt Romney, speaking about his Mormon religion, said that he can’t imagine anything worse than polygamy. He said he can’t imagine anything worse than having more than one wife. Then Bill Clinton gave a rebuttal.
Letterman
Former President Bill Clinton was a speaker at the Global Warming Summit, and he says that he has been very, very concerned about global warming. In fact, earlier this week, another chunk of ice fell off his wife.
Conan
Sen. Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by porn star Jenna Jameson. Jameson’s exact quote was, "I’m endorsing Hillary so tell Bill Clinton to stop bothering me.”
In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "There are a lot of things about Hillary that voters may not know.” Then he said, "For instance, she has a smoking-hot assistant.”
In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "Of all the candidates, Hillary has the best combination of mind and heart. Unfortunately, those are the only two parts of the female body that don’t turn me on.”
Leno
Former President Bill Clinton did a video for his wife Hillary’s presidential campaign, although Hillary’s a little upset about it. It turns out Bill did the video with Paris Hilton.
Mitt Romney, speaking about his Mormon religion, said that he can’t imagine anything worse than polygamy. He said he can’t imagine anything worse than having more than one wife. Then Bill Clinton gave a rebuttal.
Letterman
Former President Bill Clinton was a speaker at the Global Warming Summit, and he says that he has been very, very concerned about global warming. In fact, earlier this week, another chunk of ice fell off his wife.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The White House
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Late Night Jokes
Leno
Barack Obama’s wife Michelle has been out there campaigning for her husband and she praised her husband for having a "moral compass.” In fact, Hillary Clinton called her and asked, "Where can I get one of these moral compasses for Bill?”
Ferguson
Bill Clinton has designed a crossword puzzle for The New York Times. It’s very hard: "32 across. Four letter word for Hillary.”
Conan
Former President Bill Clinton wrote the clues for a New York Times crossword puzzle. Which explains why the clue for No. 9 down is, "synonym for pain in the ass, rhyming with ‘millary.’”
The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Oh sure, when she does it, it’s OK.”
Leno
Barack Obama’s wife Michelle has been out there campaigning for her husband and she praised her husband for having a "moral compass.” In fact, Hillary Clinton called her and asked, "Where can I get one of these moral compasses for Bill?”
Ferguson
Bill Clinton has designed a crossword puzzle for The New York Times. It’s very hard: "32 across. Four letter word for Hillary.”
Conan
Former President Bill Clinton wrote the clues for a New York Times crossword puzzle. Which explains why the clue for No. 9 down is, "synonym for pain in the ass, rhyming with ‘millary.’”
The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Oh sure, when she does it, it’s OK.”
Late Nite Jokes
Conan
When former N.J. Gov. Jim McGreevey’s wife found out her husband was gay, she went to Hillary Clinton for advice. Hillary, said, "Gay! I wish I had your problem.”
Leno
It’s been a rough week for President Bush. He was caught driving, by reporters, not wearing his seatbelt. He was down on his ranch, driving around without his seatbelt on. His aide says that he just refuses to buckle up. You know, Bill Clinton had the exact same problem.
Democrats announced that they are going to have six debates in six different cities all around the country. The good news . . . Hillary Clinton will use a different accent for each city.
Conan
All the presidential candidates are campaigning hard. Barack Obama recently spent two days campaigning in New Hampshire. Every where he went Barack was greeted with "Go Barack,” "Beat Hillary,” and "Hey, look — it’s a black guy!”
Conan
When former N.J. Gov. Jim McGreevey’s wife found out her husband was gay, she went to Hillary Clinton for advice. Hillary, said, "Gay! I wish I had your problem.”
Leno
It’s been a rough week for President Bush. He was caught driving, by reporters, not wearing his seatbelt. He was down on his ranch, driving around without his seatbelt on. His aide says that he just refuses to buckle up. You know, Bill Clinton had the exact same problem.
Democrats announced that they are going to have six debates in six different cities all around the country. The good news . . . Hillary Clinton will use a different accent for each city.
Conan
All the presidential candidates are campaigning hard. Barack Obama recently spent two days campaigning in New Hampshire. Every where he went Barack was greeted with "Go Barack,” "Beat Hillary,” and "Hey, look — it’s a black guy!”
