Friday, October 05, 2007
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton has proposed that 5,000 dollars be given to every baby born in America. Five thousand dollars! Here’s a chance for Kevin Federline to make some real money. He could get 30, 40 grand right there.
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $5,000 be given to every baby born in the United States. Republicans attacked her plan saying what babies need are jobs, not handouts.
David Letterman
How about that Hillary Clinton and her fundraising? She is a fundraising machine. Eighty million dollars. According to New York law, 12 million of that goes to Leona Helmsley’s dog, but still . . .
Hillary Clinton is a fundraising juggernaut. She’s made $80 million so far this year. Here’s how it breaks down: $30 million for advertising, $50 million for pantsuits.
Conan O'Brien
Hillary has a big lead in the Democratic race for president. Political insiders are speculating that Hillary may choose a Spanish running mate. When Bill heard this, he yelled, “How about Salma Hayek?”
It was announced that, over the summer, Hillary Clinton’s campaign raised $27 million, while Barack Obama’s campaign raised $22 million. In a related story, Dennis Kucinich found a nickel between the couch cushions.
Craig Ferguson
It’s a really great day for Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is ahead of Barack Obama by 33 points. Hillary hasn’t beaten a man this badly since she found out about Monica.
Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton has proposed that 5,000 dollars be given to every baby born in America. Five thousand dollars! Here’s a chance for Kevin Federline to make some real money. He could get 30, 40 grand right there.
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $5,000 be given to every baby born in the United States. Republicans attacked her plan saying what babies need are jobs, not handouts.
David Letterman
How about that Hillary Clinton and her fundraising? She is a fundraising machine. Eighty million dollars. According to New York law, 12 million of that goes to Leona Helmsley’s dog, but still . . .
Hillary Clinton is a fundraising juggernaut. She’s made $80 million so far this year. Here’s how it breaks down: $30 million for advertising, $50 million for pantsuits.
Conan O'Brien
Hillary has a big lead in the Democratic race for president. Political insiders are speculating that Hillary may choose a Spanish running mate. When Bill heard this, he yelled, “How about Salma Hayek?”
It was announced that, over the summer, Hillary Clinton’s campaign raised $27 million, while Barack Obama’s campaign raised $22 million. In a related story, Dennis Kucinich found a nickel between the couch cushions.
Craig Ferguson
It’s a really great day for Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is ahead of Barack Obama by 33 points. Hillary hasn’t beaten a man this badly since she found out about Monica.
