Thursday, August 16, 2007
Late-Night Jokes
"According to a biography of Hillary by Carl Bernstein, Bill Clinton planned to divorce Hillary. And when asked why she stayed married, Hillary was quoted as saying, 'There are worse things than infidelity.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'Yeah. Fidelity.'" --Jay Leno
"The Washington Post reports that Senator Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Oh sure, when she does it, it's okay.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The first Democratic presidential debate was held earlier tonight. ... Big event. It featured Senator Hillary Clinton facing off against seven men. Or, as Bill Clinton calls it, the worst porn movie plot ever." --Conan O'Brien
"According to the New York Post, Hillary Clinton used three private jets in a single day in a campaign swing through South Carolina. And today, she was officially named a Hollywood environmentalist." --Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton says if she is elected president, she will use Bill Clinton as an ambassador because 'she can't think of a better cheerleader for America.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'I can think of 20 and I have their phone numbers.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Although Hillary Clinton set the mark by raising $26 million for her presidential campaign in the first quarter of 2007, Mitt Romney, the Republican, was right behind her with $23 million. That's something Hillary hasn't felt in 20 years -- a man breathing down her neck." --Jay Leno
"According to a biography of Hillary by Carl Bernstein, Bill Clinton planned to divorce Hillary. And when asked why she stayed married, Hillary was quoted as saying, 'There are worse things than infidelity.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'Yeah. Fidelity.'" --Jay Leno
"The Washington Post reports that Senator Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Oh sure, when she does it, it's okay.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The first Democratic presidential debate was held earlier tonight. ... Big event. It featured Senator Hillary Clinton facing off against seven men. Or, as Bill Clinton calls it, the worst porn movie plot ever." --Conan O'Brien
"According to the New York Post, Hillary Clinton used three private jets in a single day in a campaign swing through South Carolina. And today, she was officially named a Hollywood environmentalist." --Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton says if she is elected president, she will use Bill Clinton as an ambassador because 'she can't think of a better cheerleader for America.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'I can think of 20 and I have their phone numbers.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Although Hillary Clinton set the mark by raising $26 million for her presidential campaign in the first quarter of 2007, Mitt Romney, the Republican, was right behind her with $23 million. That's something Hillary hasn't felt in 20 years -- a man breathing down her neck." --Jay Leno
